The stress that consumed me
So back when I didn’t have a real job, it stressed me out. That was all I could think about. Every day, it was “How much money do I have left?”, “How long can I last on that?”, “How can I get more money?”, “What will I do if I run out of money?”, and other thoughts that really made me nervous and scared. It consumed me completely.
Now that I’m employed in a reasonably secure job, that stress has pretty much passed. Sure, most of it went away right when I started working again and when I got a paycheck…but since I had been in that mode so long, it took some time for it to completely disappear.
Actually, now that I think about it, I doubt that it’s completely disappeared just yet… Maybe after I pay off my Visa card. This summer’s cons put a dent in that…and I still need to be reimbursed from a couple people. (I should send out reminders. I keep forgetting.)
Now that the “I can’t even afford an extra value meal” stress has gone, that big ol’ hole is starting to fill up with other things…and not all bad. Among them are:
- I don’t have a girlfriend and want one badly.
(It’s weird…when I was unemployed, it really didn’t phase me that I was single. Now it’s bugging me again.) - My Visa card has a few thousand bucks of debt on it.
(I would usually pay it off every month.) - Adequate.com is a freakin’ mess and it’s kinda ugly too.
(Anime Boston has sucked up all my free time and most of Adequate, including my master plan, has been ignored as a result.) - Why is Monster so damn ugly?
(Compared to that mess, my site doesn’t look half bad.) - I’d really like a cute girl to come over, sit next to me on my ugly couch, and lean on me while watching TV in the dimly lit room.
(Companionship would be nice.) - DoubleClick AdServer is a stupid piece of crap.
(I can’t believe it’s still written in Java.) - I really need to clean out my computer room.
(It’s not dirty…just cluttered. VERY cluttered.) - Why have all the shows I’ve found interesting in the last year all gotten cancelled?
(Some, like Firefly, aren’t yet…but probably will be soon.) - I don’t get too many visitors at my house. Gets lonely.
(It gets messy because of that too. I wish I had more friends dropping by so that I’d keep everything picked up a bit more…and so I’d have someone to play against in PS2 games.)