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...and we wonder why she left him.

Brad looks for an escape as Nicole and Tom go into another verse of "The Way We Were"...

as brad sees a part of Tom nobody ever wants to see...his tonsils.

I want to suck your blood, Mr. Durden! ... Hey, wait a minute. Louis? Is that you?

He should have listened when his momma told him his face was going to freeze like that.

"Oh my gosh! Brad you are just the funniest man I know!!"
   -Skookum Du

Don't breath with out a Tic Tac...

hey Brad! You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

Cruise on booze.
   -Amy Sherman

Hey Nicole...ya Cruise, ya lose!
   -Amy Sherman

You gotta be Kidman!
   -Amy Sherman

Had Brad been paying attention to Nicole tapping him insistently on the back, he might have been able to escape before Tom bit his head off.

(snort)...did ya hear the one (snort) about the couple that split...
   -Jim Andrew

Gee, Brad, show Tom here what you did to Edward Norton in "Fight Club".

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Honk honk.
   -Queenie Z

Look you could stick your entire fist inside Tom's mouth.

Watch his "Interview with a Vampire" pose...

Tom wins the Worst Profile Awards and is obviously thrilled.

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